Twilight Part 2 terrible but everybody loves it

Paul Peterson

Well, I can’t postpone it any longer. In the wake of not reissuing the Christmas column yet again and a small 255 million in sales, I suppose the time has come for me to review The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Ewwwww.
Well, here’s the thing. Bella and Edward are happily married and the promise of them getting their freak on which was realized in part 1 has resulted in the birth of their daughter Renesmee.
Bella is now a mighty vampire warrior and Jacob is somehow Renesmee’s mentor.
Who really cares?
OK, listen.
This is an animated series for tweenies that isn’t animated at all, especially when Edward and Bella are on screen. They flat out can’t act.
Jacob’s no better.
They’re all terrible actors.
None of their other movies have made money with the exception of Snow White and The Huntsman which was a hit in spite of Kristen Stewart. It was a good enough movie that her lack of emotion didn’t kill it entirely.
So then, there’s the fight scenes.
It’s just the worst.
This is a movie that can’t make up its mind. They want to have this whole other-wordly storm which is special effects driven but they don’t bother to make it look good.
I think they figure it’s this great love story between a young woman and a really old member of the undead.
Seriously, I know that Pattinson guy is supposed to be good looking so we forgive all of his sins but here was this virginal young woman who was pure and innocent who started dating a guy who was in his 100’s.
By whatever reason the father of Bella let her date a guy who would eventually make her a bloodsucking vampire but I guess that’s the new permissiveness.
In all fairness, people really like this movie.
They are happy with the outcome and how things are wrapped up.
Of course the stage is set for new installments
You don’t walk away from 300 million bones plus.
The child has powers.
Bella is the uber vampire, Edward never could read her mind and of course there’s that whole Jacob thing between them and there is this potential alliance between Jacob and Bella.
So there’s a whole swirl of activity and potential sequels.
I think the problem with Breaking Dawn 2 is they knew no matter what they did it was going to be huge. They had the story, they just needed to fill in the blanks To me it’s lazy filmmaking. They violate all the rules of vampires, have these sketchy relationships and don’t bother with the special effects and everybody still loves it.
Including me. I think BD2 is a terrible film and I loved playing it every single day it was here. Ka-ching.
As always, other opinions are welcome, but wrong. That’s it for this week. The cheque’s in the mail and I’m outta here. Paul