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Newsletter Spring 2010: Great minds think alike

We’re only one week in and I’m already backpedalling. Yes I meant to let everyone know that we were opening The Mustang Drive In last weekend and showing a truly epic program. Can you hear that? Standards are falling all over the province.
I don’t usually do a mini review in the newsletter but The Tooth Fairy is such an abomination that it needs a few sentences. I never thought I would type the following sentence: This film is so weak it wastes The Rock’s acting ability. And could someone call Ashley Judd and tell her her career is officially over. It was so bad that I’m sorry I only saw it last week, because now it’s on DVD and I don’t typically review them. I actually believe there are 3 weeks worth of columns out of that 1 film. For the record, not even Tai Domei could pull off going 9 years in the NHL without taking a shot. (I owe that one to Liz L who’s more of a NASCAR fan than hockey but knows just enough to get the joke.) And you can’t play a hockey game, deliver cash for a tooth, then fly to the prom, meet Cindy Lou at the malt shop and still have time to win the talent show. OK some of that didn’t happen but which thing taken out would make the rest of the story work.
Nuff said.
However I am enough of an empty suit shameless shill to remind people that it’s available for rent at HMG in Gananoque. Oh look, a segue. Part of the empire has been put in cold storage. For the first time in 14 years there is no working theatre in Gan. A few years back we put a DVD rental store in the theatre and it actually eclipsed the 35mm stuff. So we moved that part over to 345 Herbert Street and added a Hoagie House. Yes that’s right. hoagies. I could go into a detailed description of what a hoagie is but then I’d need some alone time and a smoke.
Seriously folks, check it out. The official grand opening is Friday May 14th. Free stuff, which I hate, but there it is. We’re giving stuff away.
Ok let’s play connect the dots. Everything’s a segue. Speaking of four letter words that start with f and end with ree, admission wasn’t but last weekend we did donate our portion of the ticket sales to the Loyalist Humane Society and they did very well They had 50/50 draws and things of that nature and raised enough money to feed more cats than Tiger has girlfriends.
In other celebrity news, who would have guessed that a marriage between a mixed martial arts maniac and a porn star wouldn’t work out? Big tear right here. Hey, I’m just trying to be topical money.
I fully intended to send a wrap up newsletter last November, then a Christmas one seemed like a great idea and this year I thought I might actually get the first one of the year off in time. I have a lot of good ideas.
So there are some cool things going on. Not at the drive in but …
No the summer does look pretty good for movies. Yes, I would say that to get your money, but in this case it’s true.
Ironman 2 should be tasty. The new Shrek might be good. The story line is clever. We’ll have that for the allnighter in May. Robin Hood should be well done, Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott who made Gladiator a big deal. But seriously Crowe is just such a pain in the ass. I know it’s a family newsletter but I get censored enough in the conventional media.
Speaking of which there’s a new place to go for news and weather and all kinds of interesting things about the County It’s and I’m going to be part of the writing staff. The column of course will be there and I’m going to be blogging. Yes that’s right. Just when you thought enough already, there’s more of me finding me fascinating. Oh well.
Back to the drive in, we’re getting on screen at 8:30 which means the box opens at 7:30.
We have raised the price this year which is the first time we’ve done that in 4 years. It’s now an even $10 for everyone over 12. OK bring it. Take this moment to whine about back in the day when a car was $1 and they hadn’t invented toast yet. Listen kids I used to be able to see my feet. Get over it. Things change.The film companies look at the bottom line and if we’re making more money they keep giving us the big titles. So it’s really in your best interests. You’re welcome. Man even I don’t buy that crap.
By the way Linda and Jennifer and the rest of the ilmfay people, no need to correct that last fallacy. We all know life is better when you have someone to blame – however inaccurate.
So the price is going up .50 cents. It’s one less phone call from a pay phone. I’ll let you use our land line Everybody feel better now.
So here’s the deal.
I miss the drive in when it’s closed – especially the muffins like the ones the Rammps brought me the other night. It’s part of the magic of the place. You get to make friends, like the Rammps see the kids go from little people to very cool young adults,  all the while paying the under 12 price. See that’s their line, not mine They have more integrity than me, but so does a fire hydrant. Haillie was there and of course Henry and his musical boots. I have no idea what that means but it sounds good. Seriously, the first week end was great and it should just build from there..
Anyway, you folks are fun and its going to be a good year.
A couple of things. We’re looking for a part time staff and we’d like it to be someone from the drive in ranks so if there’s someone out there who drives, doesn’t mind working nights and week ends and is willing to work for just a little more than Kathy Lee pays her sweat shop staff, we’re your next stop on the career train. Leave a phone message or come to the drive in when we’re open with a resume.

I sometimes get caught up in the writing and forget that the main point to this little endeavour is to tell you what’s playing at the drive in, so
Screen 1
Iron man 2
Shutter Island (Leonardo DiCaprio)
Screen 2
How To Train Your Dragon
The Bounty Hunter (Jennifer sucks the life out of the room Aniston)

Finally it’s another new season and I’m excited for what this year has to bring but it’s also important to remember the friends we’ve lost. At the front of the property there are two memorial trees and Jay and Katie we miss you and your presence is still here.
Thanks for indulging me folks. See you at the movies. That’s it for this week. The cheque’s in the mail and I’m outta here. Paul

Filed Under: Paul Peterson

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