Prepare for a summer of million dollar movies

Paul Peterson | May 07, 2013 | Comments 1

Paul Peterson

Every May, I turn into Charlie Brown. He lined up to kick the football believing Lucy wouldn’t pull it away at the last moment. He always thought that this time things would be different. I’m the same about the summer movie line up. I truly believe that this time, Hollywood will get it right. That movies ending in 2 3 and 6 won’t be thinner than a Paris supermodel. Yep, this year’s going to be great. No seriously.

Hey wait come back…

OK, in no particular order, except that I’m running them 10 through 1 here’s what I’ll be watching this summer.I’m going to do it in the order I want to see them, not how much money I think they’ll make. All of these will be over the 100 million mark. Guaranteed.

#10- Fast & Furious 6

I actually want to see this one. It’s apparently for all the marbles. The boys are back and I’m sure Paul Walker will only need one T shirt since he’ll spend most of his time semi-naked. One of the major achievements in film making was his ability to go topless in a movie and sled dogs. But I digress. They get the bad guy then they get full pardons which means there’s a whole new series coming with them on the right side of the law. I don’t really care about the cars, but for an action picture it might be fun.

#9 After Earth

Will and Jadyn Smith in a movie that sounds like it could be great. They play a father and son who crash land on earth 1000 years after the forced evacuation. With his son hurt and in need of medical attention, dad sets out to try and find help. Ok. Got a whole kind of post-apocalyptic feel to it. Could be good. Will Smith used to rule the summer box office. One small problem. It’s directed by M Night Shyamalan , or as I like to call him, Goodnight Shyamalan because he’s been putting his audiences to sleep since Sings. We’ll see if he goes back to his Sixth Sense form.

#8 World War Z

Brad Pitt in another end-of-the world scenario The previews are kind of cool especially the cascading fountain of human bodies (you know I never imagined I would ever write that in a sentence but ok).

Truthfully, I don’t really want to see this. I just want to play it and charge people to get in. I’ve that part. It might be ok but really, it’s Brad Pitt.

#7 Iron Man 3

I just don’t know how diluted this is going to be. IM2 wasn’t great but then he turned it around in The Avengers so I want to see it but I’m just not sure. I caught parts of it on the weekend and I have to admit it looked good and the previews are great Throw in $175 million opening and I’m thinking it’s got to be one of the bigger summer films. I’ll review it next week.

#6 The Lone Ranger

This could be higher. I think the stumbling block I had initially was figuring out how they could spend $200 million on special effects when a six shooter is your highest technology but there’s a lot going on here. Directed by Pirates’ Gore Verbinski and starring a very odd Johnny Depp as Tonto, I’m looking forward to seeing this. Listen, Verbinski made three very good films about a ride at Disney World. My money’s on that cat to pull this western legend off although westerns have been the kiss of death for awhile.

#5 Wolverine

Hugh Jackman’s back and the first one was decent although a little disappointing but I like Jackman so I’m hoping. He gets to be all nasty angry and I think that looks like a fit for him. Maybe he should use those talons to gut Daniel Day Lewis for stealing his Les Mis Oscar. I’m just saying.

#4 Monsters University

Functionally I’m operating at about a Grade 4 level and a lot of my classmates resent what they see as me upgrading my status. I like animation and the first Monsters was cute and sweet and allowed me to pay off at least two of my tampering with nature fines. Just kidding It was only one. Crystal and Goodman are back because in the cartoons you can go back in time and nobody notices that you’re playing 59 years younger. The voice thing is not an issue, I mean Billy Crystal has been vocally mugging since Saturday Night Live.

#3 Man of Steel

We’ll see. It could be great.

Christopher Nolan produces so while it isn’t his direct helmsmanship the guy had to be hanging around the set and look what he did for Batman. Speaking of which, it was written by Batman Begins and Dark Knight writer David S Goyer. I’m not sure Superman looks a little thin and it’s not like they’ve made a good once since Christopher Reeves’ initial entry into the suit. Still it looks good. Really good. Hey Lucy, here I come. Hold that ball tight!

#2 Star Trek Into Darkness

Big ups. The first one was great – told the story and then got us through a great adventure. This one looks even better I’m excited to see where they take it as they leave their pasty nation/nerdfest beginnings in the dust. Make no mistake. This is not your father’s Star Trek. Well, it couldn’t be because if you had a dad then he had to at least have had a girlfriend, and that means well…you get what I’m saying

No matter. It looks outstanding.

Finally my #1 movie that I want to see Ya I’ll say it: Despicable Me 2

I absolutely loved the first one. Loved it. So much that I wanted to marry it. This one wil have some new twists and turns and crabby guy has to have mellowed with those kids around but the humor and charm of the first will be present and I really can’t wait. Clever art and great writing wins my vote for best potential film of the summer.

There are a couple of afterthoughts Smurfs 2 will make me a boatload of money but meh, not thrilled. Grown Ups 2 has Adam Sandler and very little else and then there’s The Hangover 3.

I liked the first one. We’ll see.

Either way it’s going to be a great summer at the movies.

No seriously.

They have to get it right this time.

Oh crap.

As always, other opinions are welcome, but wrong. That’s it for this week. The cheque’s in the mail and I’m outta here. Paul

Filed Under: News from Everywhere Else • Paul Peterson