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The madlib of an Adam Sandler movie review

There are large segments of our modern world I don’t understand. I never got monster trucks. I’m getting to an age where climbing into my van is difficult enough. I never saw the value of driving a vehicle that required an altimeter to steer. I also don’t understand playing video games for hours at a time, the Jersey Shore or those gum commercials where commando’s force people to give up their gum. I never pick my gum based on which is the most likely to get me kicked in the stomach by a donkey, and I don’t understand Adam Sandler’s popularity.
Jack and Jill is his latest soon to be 100 million dollar monstrousity.
Our story so far.
Adam has a twin sister whom he cannot stand. He’s sophisticated and really successful, and lives in this palatial mansion with the trophy wife and charming little Stepford kids.
He’s a successful ad exec who’s latest task is to convince Al Pacino to star in a dunking donuts commercial.
Every year Jill comes out from the Bronx for Thanksgiving and this year is the first since their mom died. Mom lived with Jill, who has never dated, and so it’s extra angst filled.
Ok there’s the plot.
Sandler wrote it so he’s always rich and successful and a great dad with a beautiful wife who he definitely knows how to take care of nudge-nudge-say-no-more.
It’s just so terrible.
The only joke in the film that I laughed at was the internet arranged date between Norm MacDonald and Jill. I love Norm. That cat is funny under every circumstance and this is a brilliant cameo delivered with his usual deadpan irony.
They’ve just met and she says “I can’t believe I’m really here”
and he replies “Assuming this is real and not some terrifying nightmare.”
It’s funny even to type it but I just saved you $10 because at least for me that was the only near funny moment in the film.
I heard the audience laugh a few times but I couldn’t find anyone nearby who could dumb it down for me so I’m not sure what the joke was. Something about Adam dressed up as a girl and having a big butt.
I swear you need one of those amusement park signs that reads ‘You Must Be This Dumb To See This Film’.
Katie Holmes is Sandler’s wife. Thats the best thing I can say about that role.
Al Pacino obviously is the victim of some kind of career blackmail because there’s no other explanation for his appearance. Then again, Sandler got Nicholson to play in Anger Management.
I can’t remember a movie I was so ashamed to play except the Wyans Bros. White Chicks came close. Oh sure, I took the money, but I didn’t feel good about myself. Well, ok maybe I did but there was some guilt.
No there wasn’t.
Oops I did it again.
And, of course, having said all of this I know no one cares. It doesn’t make one iota of difference to the fans and non fans. If you like Sandler it’s game on. If you don’t, not even at gunpoint. This is pandering of the highest order and will also be a huge rental when it comes out on DVD. There is no accounting for taste.
Maybe someday I’ll get it. I truly hope not but I think I could excel as a simpleton and there are many in this readership who would agree. Then again let’s not forget the real reason for movies.
To sell popcron.
In that sense Jack and Jill delivers.
How does it end?
Insert your own ending here. It’s probably right.
I’ll give you a hint. Jack has a heart of gold. So does Jill. Adam gets the gold.
I need to shower after taking your money. Everyone goes away happy.
As always, other opinions are welcome, but wrong. That’s it for this week. The cheque’s in the mail and I’m outta here. Paul

Filed Under: Paul Peterson

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