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Mud-trackin’ report on latest at Loyalist Humane

A Sheltered Life – photographs, and stories, as told to Maggie Haylock-Capon, by Liza, resident greeter at the Loyalist Humane Society. File photographs by Alan R. Capon and photos by Gilles Robert.

(If you are unable to adopt a cat or kitten, there are many other important ways to help the LHS. Donations of Javex and other household cleaning products, garbage bags, grocery bags, litter, cat food and kitten food are welcome. The Loyalist Humane Society is located on County Road 4, (Talbot Street), near the intersection of Tripp Road.)

Fun squirrel-watching on the Catio

Fun squirrel-watching on the Catio

Happy Spring (?) Everyone!

Liza

Liza

It’s Liza, official greeter at the Loyalist Humane Society, here to tell you about all of the latest happenings here at our shelter. There is good news and bad news, so I will deal with the bad news first. Franco has hit a new low.

I regret to inform you that he has taken up mud wrestling. He fights under the name The Loyalist Barbarian and has had four bouts already this spring. He is insufferably proud of the fact that he won all of them, defeating Benson the Terminator, Hootie the Hulk, Moey MonsterCat and the bouncer from Scruggins’ tavern, Big Bad John. The notoriety has gone to his head. He has a press agent now and a fan club and recently was interviewed by Crawford, our sports reporter. Much to my dismay, it was agreed that this interview should be published with my blog. Please know that I was outvoted and bear no responsibility for the following:

Crawford: Franco, as the undefeated mud wrestling champion of Talbot Street will you tell your fans where you learned to fight?

Franco: Me pugilistic skills was honed at Prince Edward Heights when I was just a lad. Me Ma, Tammy McTough, was a street tabby with a heart o’ gold and she could pack a wallop. Don’t know nuthin’ about Pops, cuz Ma says he was just a tourist passin’ through. Was Ma who taught me ta fight.

Crawford: But your opponents have studied the martial arts and wrestling holds. How do you account for your ability to defeat cats with superior training?

Franco: What they does ain’t fightin’, it’s balley dancin’. While they’s pussy-footin’ aroun’ on their tippy toes, I strikes hard and gets ’em in a clinch. Then I rolls ’em, easy peasy.

Crawford: What do you see as you next career move?

Franco: That there Extreem Fightin’ in a cage. If Mrs. M. will loan me one a her crates, I’ll take all comers.

Crawford: You have quite a female following here at the shelter. Has you social life improved since you took up mud wrestling?

Franco: I has a date with Hissy Missy this weekend an’ Vinny is tryin’ to fix me up with his sister, Winnie.

Crawford: Do you ever have fears when you go into the ring?

Franco: Fer sure. I fears that when I is done wrestlin’ Mrs. M. will throw me in the washer. She gets awful mad about the mud I tracks in.

Crawford: Thanks for the interview, Franco, and best of luck to you in your new-found career. See you at the fights.

It’s me, Liza, back again. With that disgusting interview out of the way, I’d like to report some good news. Plans are in progress for our Second Annual Katnip Tea with tenor Julian Gallo and friends. There will be a live auction with auctioneer Adam Miller aka Mr. Handsome and a silent auction, too. All proceeds will go to our shelter. Watch for the posters in May.

Zeke The Millionaire

Zeke The Millionaire

There has also been an amazing rags to riches story at our shelter. Remember Zeke, our aviator cat, the one who enjoys terrorizing visitors by leaping to their shoulders? He just hit the jackpot. A generous sponsor came forward with a huge cheque for him. Now, he can afford his own plane.

Zeke’s sudden wealth has been life-changing. He was never attractive to the opposite sex, with his red nose, notched ears and half a tail. Now, he looks like a million bucks. I must confess that even I have begun to see him through different eyes. I find myself imagining a vine-covered cottage for two with winter vacations in warm places and an endless supply of Tender Vittles treats. Of course, that hussy, Lily Ann., who is a newcomer, has set her cap for him, too. She is thinking of changing her name to Catmelia Earhart and boasts that she and Zeke can fly away together for an exciting life in the wild blue yonder.

Laddie is a male domestic short hair tabby. He’s 8 years old and is suited for a sponsor.

Laddie is a male domestic short hair tabby. He’s 8 years old and is suited for a sponsor.

Over to Saylor, who has recently assumed the duties of editorial assistant, following Winky One-Eye’s recent adoption.

Hi, Folks,

I am pleased to report that there have been a number of adoptions lately. Robson, Winky, Rodger Dodger, Okee Dokee and Churchley all have found their forever homes. We wish them well and will miss them.

Sadly, Henry has crossed the Rainbow Bridge, after spending several years with us. He, too, will be missed.

Pet Appreciation Days are underway at Picton’s Pet Valu. Lots of special events are planned by Tricia and her staff. There will be a Cup Cake Day on April 9 and a free dog wash on April 23 (we could take Franco) and there’ll be cotton candy on April 30. There will also be a special Adoption weekend. Come out to Pet Valu and join the fun.

Josh is a male domestic short hair tabby and white. He’s 2 years old. Josh appears to be shy cat in his new environment at the shelter.

Josh is a male domestic short hair tabby and white. He’s 2 years old. Josh appears to be shy cat in his new environment at the shelter.

 

News Flashes From Franco

Franco

Franco

Guess ya all heard about me new career as a mud wrestler. Them other guys just thought they could fight. I taught ’em a few things alright. I still got the moves. I is an alley fighter from way back.

Had a new arrival here the other day – a fella by the name o’ Josh. Somebody dumped him in da catio, where Mrs. M. found him. Thought she was seein’ things when she spotted him. Seems like an okay guy. He was feelin’ pretty bad about bein’ left like a baby on da church steps but we told him not ta be embarrassed. He’s gotta home here fer as long as he needs it.

Edward is a male domestic medium hair black and white. He’s 1 year old.

Edward is a male domestic medium hair black and white.
He’s 1 year old.

There’s another new guy, too, by da name o’ Edward. Poor fella’s got male pattern baldness somethin’ fierce an’ he’s skinny as a rail. Kinda a friendly cuss an’ Mrs. M. an’ all da guys in da Laundry Room likes him alot. He ain’t gonna git a furever home anytime soon without fur. Needs hair restorer or one o’ them too-pays an’ a tail cozy.

Time fer me ta go. I got me a fight tonight – some dude from Tripp Road – calls hisself One-way Trip. That’s what I’m thinkin’ I’ll be givin’ him — a one-way trip ta da vet clinic.

The Loyalist Barbarian

Parakitty is a male domestic short hair tabby and white. He’s 4 and 1/2 months old. Parakitty is paralyzed due to a broken back.

Parakitty is a male domestic short hair tabby and white. He’s 4 and 1/2 months old.
Parakitty is paralyzed due to a broken back.

Notes from the Desk of Liza

A wonderful special needs kitten has arrived at our shelter. His name is ParaKitty. It is believed that his back was broken when he was very young. As a result, his hind legs are paralyzed. This does not stop him from climbing and playing much like any other kitten. He is an affection little fellow with lots of heart. We are all very fond of him and admire his courage and determination. Mrs. M. is giving him lots of TLC and is very proud of the way he has adjusted to life at our shelter.

Franco has mentioned one of our latest arrivals, a young cat named Edward. He has had a rocky start in life but with good care and hearty meals he is sure to become a healthy, happy cat. He would very much like a sponsor. For a donation of just $20 a month. Edward will write to you and advise you of his progress. Why not start spring with a new best friend?

Once again, I would like to remind you of Pet Valu’s Adoption Weekend, April 15, 16 and 17 and the silent auction now in progress. Be sure to visit Tricia and her staff and, of course, store cat T.J., a former shelter resident.

Booboo is a male domestic short hair tabby and white. He’s 12 years old and declawed.  Booboo and Yogi are brothers. Both would prefer to be adopted together and go to the same home.

Booboo is a male domestic short hair tabby and white. He’s 12 years old and declawed.
Booboo and Yogi are brothers. Both would prefer to be adopted together and go to the same home.

I would like to take this opportunity to welcome two new residents to our Seniors’ Room. Let me introduce Yogi and Boo Boo. They came to our shelter when their owner became too ill to care for them. These handsome brothers are 12 years old and have been together since they were kittens. They are healthy, affectionate cats who would very much like a fur-ever home, together. This pair would be purrfect for a senior citizen.

Yogi is a male domestic short hair tabby and white. He’s 12 years old and declawed. Yogi and Booboo are bothers. Both would prefer to be adopted together and go to the same home.

Yogi is a male domestic short hair tabby and white. He’s 12 years old and declawed.
Yogi and Booboo are bothers. Both would prefer to be adopted together and go to the same home.

In closing, I am delighted to report that Franco is now facing a heavy fine. Following his last fight, he tested positive for catnip, a substance banned by the Feline Mud Wrestling Association. Under pressure from our Chief of Police, Vinny, he has confessed to “a snort or two” before stepping into the ring.

-Until next time,
Liza

* * *
Click here for previous Loyalist Humane Society blogs

Filed Under: Margaret Haylock-CaponNews from Everywhere Else

About the Author: Maggie Haylock is a freelance writer and former newspaper reporter who has co-authored several books with her husband, Alan Capon.

RSSComments (3)

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  1. Olwen says:

    Great idea of Sharon’s. Who has time to work on that???

    Maybe we could call for anyone interested, or experienced to work on it?

    Love your stories, Margaret

  2. Sharon says:

    I love these stories. Still waiting for a book to be written. What about a children’s book to raise funds for the shelter.

  3. Judy Bracewell says:

    Thank you, I needed this!

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