Scourge headed our way presents certain risks for men

Well folks, last weekend didn’t suck, so that was a welcome surprise. It still wasn’t strong in the room but better than Igloo-palooza the weekend before. So of course we’re all geared up for the holiday weekend and by geared up I mean bringing in umbrellas because it seems to rain every time it’s important that it not. But, hey I’m not bitter.
Besides, I don’t have time this newsletter because there are some very important things to address.
You probably remember some of my previous public service announcements like Spare change: Don’t leave the drive in for home with it or if you don’t tip the projectionist, the terrorists win. Important stuff for sure, and recently I have rekindled my efforts to make sure every thing we serve at the drive in has at least two layers of fried batter on it. Again, please don’t call me a hero unless you feel freedom fighting gladiator isn’t strong enough.
Still I never rest. There is a scourge headed our way and it presents certain risks for the male members in the audience. The fellers. You have to watch what you say today.
There are a lot of things that are causing the unprecedented drop in testosterone amongst the members of my tribe. Male pedicures, the popularity of John Mayer and the incresing number of men’s hair products but none of these will do anywhere near the damage that the release of Sex In The City 2 will cause when it opens June 28th.
We’re almost helpless guys but there are a few things you can do.
Start listening to the entire Maroon 5 collection. This allows the feminine antibodies into your system without overloading you. It is essentially a vaccine. It’s probably not enough, but desperate times call for extreme measures. We have to ask ourselves what would Chuck Norris do? Not to pick on an icon but I saw him doing a hair dye commercial so we’re not going to get any help here.
Let’s face it men, we’re going to end up having to at least hear about this weep fest if not actually take one for the team and go and see it with the main squeeze and perhaps a couple of secondarys – just kidding. So all you can do is get every Dirty Harry film, throw in the first Die Hard, put them on a continuous loop and chant sliently to yourself – It is not all about the clothes. Special effects matter.
We won’t be opening it, but the stink of the previews will be on some of the films we play.
Ona more serious note, the Boulevard in Napanee is doing a benefit for Interval House with a gal opening for the film. To find out more about that, go to our website and follow the links.
In other irrelevant news I’m getting new running shoes. Hey, it was a slow news week.
I have to do the usual shout outs once removed The Ladas, Graham and Madeline, those two nice kids in the blue volks, always the Rammps because once again they brought cake.
Kyle, Hailie, and more than anyone, Anna who keeps me on the straight and narrow.
Sunday night is our first all-nighter of the year. If you’re planning on coming, get here early. It’s not unusual for us to have a 100 car lineup for a significant period of the evening. One year we turned 190 cars away. Oh the horror.
So we will open the box office at 6:30. We’re getting on screen around 8:45 if there’s some cloud cover and closer to 9 if it’s a clear night. One thing. We really think the Shrek program is going to be huge and we wanted a balance for the teens so we brought in Nightmare which is a horror flick and kickass which is very funny and equally inappropriate. So just let the kids keep their eyes front forward. We’re playing Nightmare first so that any of
the scary images will be over once Shrek rolls credits. Just so you know.
On the front screen
1 Shrek Forever After- (yes it’s the new one mensas )
2 Iron Man 2
3 How To Train Your Dragon
4 She’s Out of My League

Screen 2
1 Nightmare on Elm Street
2 Kickass
3 Clash of the Titans
4 The Losers

We are located at 1521 County Road 1
RR1 Bloomfield
K0K 1GO or is it K0K 2T0
Our zenlike webmaster is going to add a map to the website
Have a safe and happy holiday weekend folks. See you at the movies. Paul